Our April and May, thus far, have been outrageously full and fulfilling with all the remarkable schools, communities and youth and adult associations we've been working with.

(See above pictures - l to r - Girls from the KY-TN KEY Club Conference, Guys preparing for the KY-TN KEY Club talent show, workshop teens at the TN FCCLA Conference, Ben Franklin conference coordinating team for the Summit for Clinical Excellence on Adolescent Issues in Florida.)

Most rewarding to observe has been the level of awareness and commitment to helping and healing in all the counselors, club advisors (KEY CLUB and FCCLA this past month), school district administrators and parents that we've worked with over the past six weeks.

Overall, more conscientious effort is going into the mental and emotional wounds, grief and unresolved problems that are motivating today's teens to poor choices and self-destruction. Adults, parents, recovery professionals are also uniting within schools and communities to create change: support programs, community anti-drug coalitions, communication across gender and generation gaps.

One repeated issue of concern that is raising its ugly head is Aggression Among Teenage Girls. Have you heard the word "target" as yet? It's the age-old act of pushing on 'good girls' to do "bad" and outrageous things in order to be liked rather than put down -- girls acting out their own low self-esteem through aggression towards girls they feel less than. Unfortunately, it's alive and well as more and more girls act out aggressively toward peers, and even friends.

READ ON and find out how you can recognize the issues and stop the trouble by investing thoughtful and consistent positive boundaries for our girls.

"Adolescents who are lonely or have low self-esteem more often perceive their friendships as threatened by peers, which may, in turn, lead them to behave aggressively.

"For years, researchers have stressed the benefits to children of close friendships, but there can also be a dark side to friendships," says principal investigator Jeffrey G. parker, Ph.D.,

"Jealousy is kind of a behavior, motivation and cognitive mix," Parker says. Some adolescents "end up worrying so much about their relationships, they don't get to enjoy them...and become preoccupied with whether they will last.""

Monitor on Psychology, A Publication of the American Psychological Association, February, 2005, Vol. 36, NO.2,
p.13.

Imagine the RELIEF and the HOPE in consistently connecting and communicating with your teen!
In SUSIE's new book, 52 Ways to Protect Your Teen,

By rolling their eyes or turning their back on another girl, they can shut that other person out without being noticed by anyone else--even a concerned parent or teacher.

The Need to Please
According to Rachel, one of the reasons for this hidden aggression is that girls don't express their anger to each other directly. In our culture, girls are taught to be nice, which means not being in conflict, and being everyone's friend. This need to please leads to the more under-handed forms of aggression, because girls know they don't have to take responsibility for their actions. If they were visibly mean, they would be punished not only by their parents or teachers, but also by their peers.

The Popularity Contest
Popularity is a "cutthroat contest that causes girls to lie to be accepted, to cheat their friends by using them, and to steal people's secrets to re-sell at a higher price," says Rachel. What makes girls popular is having lots of friends, and having trouble-free relationships with them. But the more friends girls have, and the more they try to keep those friendships trouble-free, the more aggression builds up under the surface.

Kicked Out and Isolated
Girls would rather be picked on than kicked out of their social group. The idea of being ostracized from their group of friends is devastating. The social isolation of losing their friends could make them feel uncomfortable about relationships in general. The burden of shame is heavy for girls, because they feel if they've been isolated from the group, they must have done something very wrong. For girls, their relationships with their peers are more important than school, their relationships with their parents or anything else."

For the full article, visit www.oprah.com

Wishing you well,
All of us at LEGACY
Susie Vanderlip - Ken Vanderlip - Veronica Garcia - Terri Warren
800-707-1977